Saturday, April 26, 2008

Adieu to Poetry Month


I want to post a poem before National Poetry Month is over, and I'm in the mood for something frivolous. I wrote this poem several years ago when I became exasperated with the burgeoning bust-enhancement industry in the United States (no pun intended):

GET REAL (NOT)

You can't miss what you've
never had, it's true
That's why I'm sometimes
sad and blue
That I ever laid eyes
on those foreign flicks
that raise false hopes in U.S. chicks
who live in the land of bigger, quicker
(newer, slicker)


The languid lens of Guiles and Sven
takes time to linger on Pia's skin,
her blue-veined throat,
the gentle way her fingers float
as she measure the world with a complex stare
(light on the makeup, clothes, and hair)


Well, fellow pilgrim, think again
before you labor selecting a pin
to clasp that scarf beneath your chin
that brings out the sea color of your eyes --
Get wise!


If you believe that subtle, sotto textures
will stir male viewers to sensate conjectures
or that a splash of Muguet
on the nape of your neck
will float on the breeze and be readily met
by a man of deep feeling,
you seem to forget
that this is the land of the ten-second pitch
The Whopper, the Big Gulp,
The Las Vegas dream
In the land of the chest-beaters, Barbie's the queen.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Sing Me a Short Story


I was busy compiling a CD play list this week when I realized that a high percentage of my favorite songs incorporate narrative lyrics. Apparently, I've been immersed in books for so long that I'm drawn to songs that are, at their heart, gem-like short stories set to music. Consider the following "Short Story Collection," which I recently burned on CD:

1. Magdalene Laundries, lyrics by Joni Mitchell, as sung by Emmylou Harris

This tale is told by a young woman who has been involuntarily committed to the Magdalene Laundry, a convent workhouse in Dublin where "immoral girls" were locked up, forbidden to communicate with each other or the outside world, and forced to work ten hours a day until many of them were driven to death by illness or madness. Listen and weep.

2. Leslie Anne Levine, music and lyrics by The Decemberists

The Decemberists are consummate storytellers, and this narrative, as told by the ghost of a child who was abandoned to die at birth by a young single mother, is a gothic masterpiece.

3. Black Annis, lyrics by Antje Duvekot, as performed by Solas

This song derives its lyrics from a legend out of the British Isles: Annis, a flesh-eating sorceress, would lure unwary children into the mouth of her cave (Black Anna's Bower), from which they never returned. The song's story is told in lush, lyrical prose.

4. The Crane Wife, 1, 2, & 3, music and lyrics by The Decemberists

This 3-part set also derives its lyrics from a legend -- a Japanese folktale about a man who wakes one morning to find an injured crane on his doorstep. After nursing the crane back to health, he releases it and is surprised at the appearance of a beautiful woman on his doorstep several days later. Love, marriage, and a tragic betrayal follow.

5. The River, music and lyrics by Bruce Springsteen

This heartland tale of young love withered by the crush of premature responsibility, financial stress, and lack of opportunity in a dying industrial town is classic Springsteen. He's the blue collar bard of Middle America.

6. Romeo Had Juliette, music and lyrics by Lou Reed

Don't expect a sweet story here -- Romeo Rodriguez' and Juliette Bell's romance is as raw and gritty as the mean NYC streets they inhabit, and yet their awkward attempts at tenderness in the face of societal forces that will inevitably crush them can't help but move you.

7. Chelsea Hotel, music and lyrics by Leonard Cohen

The historic Chelsea Hotel in NYC has housed countless bohemian artists and inspired myriad stories, but Leonard Cohen's song, in which he remembers his times there with former lover Janis Joplin, is one of my favorites.

8. Making Pies, music and lyrics by Patty Griffin

Listen to the middle-aged character in this song tell you the story of her life as she makes pies at the TableTalk cafe. You'll never look at the 50-something waitress at Denny's the same again.

9. Pancho and Lefty, music and lyrics by Townes Van Zandt, as sung by Emmylou Harris

Don't let country music phobia keep you from listening to this classic desperado story from south of the border -- it's like a musical miniature of "Lonesome Dove."

10. Sailing to Philadelphia, music and lyrics by Mark Knopfler

This is the tale of Mason and Dixon, a surveyor and astronomer who came from England to America to determine the southern border of Pennsylvania. James Taylor, as Charles Mason, and Knopfler, as Jeremiah Dixon, bring this historical short story-in-a-song to life.

11. Papa Was a Rodeo, music and lyrics by The Magnetic Fields (Stevin Merritt)

I'm not sure which came first, Annie Proulx's "Brokeback Mountain" or this three-hankie song about a lifelong romance between two cowboys, but they are both superb short stories about the same topic. Stevin (yes, that's how it's spelled) Merritt's voice is perfect for the part.


For $10-$15 dollars and some time logged in with an online music provider, you can make your own musical short story collection. Try it -- it's fun.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Check Out This Poem!

One of the singular powers of poetry is its ability to address the "big questions" of life with dizzying economy. Check out Edward Hirsch's poem, "Self Portrait." You won't be sorry.

Feed Me!

I recently decided I've been frittering away one to two hours every morning glued to the tube, shuttling between CNN, MSNBC, and CNBC, and that a good portion of what I've absorbed during this daily ritual has been crappola.

The tipping point came about two weeks ago, when MSNBC presented a "breaking news story" about a fire in a multi-story nursing home somewhere in the northeast. Smoke poured out of the roof as a fireman slowly hoisted a nightie-clad nonagenarian down a ladder in what appeared to be slow motion, grandma's dangling white legs and unfortunate wedgie there for all the world to see.

No problem, I thought, and I flipped the channel to CNN. Same grandma. Same white legs. Same wedgie. I continued flipping channels and discovered that there was no escaping this news du jour -- regular updates on the situation continued, on national news, throughout the morning. I realize that this coverage was probably of momentous importance to the relatives of the nursing home residents, and it was of no small significance to the local city involved, but if a national news channel can find nothing better to broadcast ad nauseam throughout the day, it has a dearth of real news and a serious oversupply of airtime.

What does any of this have to do with books? I decided to reclaim my wasted mornings by developing an assortment of book-related RSS audio feeds that I could listen to each day in lieu of the tube, and I've stumbled upon some real gems that I'd like to share.

After spending considerable time reviewing the merits of various prose and poetry sites, I narrowed my selections to the following RSS feeds, which currently seem to offer me the most bang for my buck: (1) NPR: Books (2) the New York Times Book Review podcast (3) KCRW's Bookworm, (4) Slate's Audio Book Club , (5) Poetry Foundation Poem of the Day , and (6) Sonibyte's Poem of the Day . Each site provides instructions on how to subscribe to regular podcast feeds.

Here are direct links to some of the best episodes I gathered from these sites over the course of the last two weeks:

1. Excerpts of past interviews with Philip Roth, in honor of his 75th birthday, gleaned from the NPR Books Site.

2. A reading of the first passages of "The Gathering," (winner of the Man Booker Prize 2007) by Ann Enright, courtesy of the KRCW Bookworm site. (one warning -- this podcast always begins with a cheerful "theme song" that will grate on your nerves)

3. A Slate Book Club discussion of "The House of Mirth."

4. A Poetry Foundation Poem of the Day about the persistence of desire.

5. A curiously engaging poem about a snail from Sonibyte Poem of the Day (scroll down to "Considering the Snail)

(Some of these sites may have a limited cyberlife --my apologies if, for some bizarre reason, you are reading this post in the distant future)

Experiment with your own mix of RSS feeds -- you'll enjoy yourself and improve your mind, which is more that can be said about watching minute to minute coverage of a toddler's miraculous rescue from an abandoned well in Scranton.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Behind Closed (Faculty) Doors

If you're a fan of dark comedy set in the rarified world of academia, you've probably already read these books. This delightfully sharp, tongue-in-cheek genre is one of my favorites, and if you haven't explored it yet, I encourage you to try one of the following titles:

Lucky Jim, by Kingsley Amis

This was Amis' first novel, published in 1954, and I consider it to be the granddaddy of the genre. Lucky Jim isn't so lucky -- he's on the verge of losing his junior teaching position at a second rate college in rural England, and in order to save his job, he's going to have to lick up to his odious boss, Neddy Welch, a pompous ass who insists that Jim deliver a prestigious lecture based on Neddy's pet manuscript-- a hackneyed discourse on "Merrie England." One humiliation is piled upon another as Jim is forced to join in parlor sing-ins of esoteric madrigals, stroke Neddy's ego, and ingratiate himself to Neddy's son Bertrand, a pretentious (and awful) novelist who just happens to be dating the woman of Jim's dreams. Irreverent, angry, and anti-Etonian, Jim is delightful as he deflates the rarified heights of one of England's not-so-ivory towers.

The Headmaster's Dilemma, by Louis Auchincloss

This recent novel (2007) tells the story of Michael Sayre, the handsome, avant-garde headmaster of Averhill, a prestigious New England prep school, as he is faced with a school administrator's worst nightmare: a lawsuit brought by a hysterical society matron in response to a consensual sexual incident involving her son and an upperclassman. To make matters worse, Michael is losing the support of both the board of trustees -- led by the conniving Donald Spencer -- and certain senior faculty members who are resistant to "modern sensibilities." With the help of his wife, Michael attempts to right these wrongs while keeping Averhill's best interests in mind.

This novel is classic Auchincloss. He casts a scathing eye on all of his characters -- no one is spared. The "victimized" boy is a calculating worm, his "oppressor" is a lout, the boy's mother is a self-righteous old bat who flouts her moral sensibilities, the boy's father is a "man of leisure" who married his wife for her money and finds the entire prep school incident to be mildly amusing, and even Michael, the "innocent man" who is caught in the middle, is a bit too perfect for his own good -- it's nice to see him squirm. Throw in Michael's wife, a woman who isn't averse to using her sexual wiles to promote Michael's rise (and therefore, her own) in the world, and add Michael's arch enemy, a one-time friend who can't forgive Michael for being so successful, and you've got quite a crew. This novel is wickedly funny from start to finish.

Truth and Consequences, by Alison Lurie

Alan and Jane Mackenzie are a "trophy couple." He's an established professor at Corinth College, she's the administrator there, and their genteel, old-money house and garden are the envy of the faculty. Then a back ailment strikes Alan, and their relationship begins to unravel. Jane resents the fact that her virile "professor on campus" has morphed into a whining invalid, and Alan resents her resentment. Enter the famous and self-absorbed poetess Delia Delaney (the name really says it all), an overripe, pre-Raphaelite beauty who drapes herself in ethnic jewelry and clouds of diaphanous gypsy wear, and chaos predictably ensues.

Delia, who has a narcissistic penchant for sudden "migraines," begins to exchange details of her malady with Alan, who reciprocates with the empathy of a fellow sufferer. It's only a matter of time before Alan's office couch serves a new function (sprained back be damned). In the meantime, Delia's live-in boyfriend, a younger man who Alan scornfully discounts as a lay-about lapdog, begins trading "caregiver" tales with Jane over a cup of coffee at the local latte shop . . . If you're already smiling, this book is for you.

(If you enjoy this book, you'll also like Lurie's Pulitzer Prize winning book, "Foreign Affairs.")

Straight Man, by Richard Russo

Russo is best known for his rust belt sagas depicting the life of blue collar workers (prime example: Empire Falls, winner of the 2002 Pulitzer Prize), but this novel, set in the Pennsylvania rust belt, focuses upon the tragicomic tribulations of William Henry Devereaux, Jr. ("Hank"), a fiftyish creative writing professor who reluctantly chairs a university English department that is facing legislative cuts to an already paltry budget.

The flyleaf of the novel captures the gist of Hank's tale: "Over the course of a single convoluted weekend, he threatens to execute a goose, has his nose slashed by a feminist poet, discovers that his secretary writes better fiction than he does, suspects his wife of having an affair with his dean, and finally confronts his philandering father, the one-time king of American Literary Theory, at an amusement park."

Faculty infighting, academic puffery, and a possible fling with a young coed (is she flirting with Hank by sending him peach pits ripe with erotic symbolism?) add to the fun. You can tell that Russo loves his main character, however -- the author's big-hearted treatment of Hank invites you to feel Hank's pain even as you laugh at his personal and professional peccadilloes.

On Beauty, by Zadie Smith

Admittedly, this book should not be categorized as an academic comedy -- Zadie Smith's novel is basically a masterful exposition of the divisiveness of the culture wars, and an examination of the blessings and trials of family relationships. Nonetheless, the book is steeped in an academic setting (Wellington, a fictional New England university) that provides plenty of fodder for lovers of the genre.

When Monty Kipps, a right-wing academic, is invited to become a visiting professor at the liberal Wellington campus, he is destined to come to philosophical blows with fellow professor Howard Belsey, a transplanted Englishman who despises Kipps' conservative views and resents his academic fame. Fireworks ensue. Although the novel is not primarily comedic, some of the passages are brilliantly witty. The author's send up of Wellington's male glee club left me rolling on the floor.

I'd love to hear from other readers who could add more titles to this list of books -- I've already stumbled upon an additional book in this genre that I can't wait to read: "Blue Angel," by Francine Prose.